29 March 2008

Sogni & incubi

A perfectly awful day in the studio yesterday!

It began with a gruesome nightmare – a grim, Frankenstein-ish kind of mind movie in which I saw that my own head had been sawed open and hastily sealed up again, but by what mad scientist, and why? I wondered what damage had been done to me! My terror awakened me.

Maybe this incubo (nightmare) came to me because I am attempting to sculpt heads and hands for a current project. I know just how I see them in my dreams. But I am no sculptor. I grow more frustrated and feel more incapable with each misshapen effort.

I tried to work, but nothing would work for me. Everything I touched, I spoiled. Nothing would fit, nothing would stick, nothing would stay put. Expensive materials were breaking to pieces in my hands. Then I knocked over my precious jar of gel medium. I saw it spread across my workspace, utterly ruining my best-loved work diary and gooping up many other things. The last straw! I ranted and raged, even as I cleaned up the sticky mess and tried to save what I could. When I was finally exhausted, I abandoned everything and went out with my camera, hoping to find some peace and inspiration, a small sogno (dream).

Instead I found these hideous, deformed cherubs… more incubi!

I think it’s time for a day off.