05 December 2008

Venetian weaponry

There’s no crime to speak of here in Venice… just some minor pick-pocketing and the occasional shell game scam. But we still need our handguns. Like this Space Age-y beauty. It’s the latest model Chinese rat gun.

Before all the animal protection folks get on me, a rat gun is not for actually killing rats. It just makes a loud, irritating noise and emits a glaring red light. Apparently this double-edged sensory attack annoys the creatures enough to make them scamper away.

Don’t laugh! No one enjoys coming home at night to find a little crowd of vermin lounging about on the doorstep. I know a rather elegant, well-dressed lady here in town who never ventures out without her rat gun.

I’m thinking I can make some fast bucks by bringing a shipment of these clever weapons to New York for the Christmas season.

“Call and order now! Operators are standing by… “